booby-baby:

Danny DeVito responds to his shrine

dantes-infernal-chili:

dankmemeuniversity:

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen all goddamn week

attendance:

mmwtmx:

attendance:

so last week I reposted the money dog hoping money would come my way and guess what… IT WORKED!

the very next day I found the most amazing website. they will literally pay you to take quizzes like the ones on buzzfeed (for market research or some shit.) I know that they’re legit bc I already received my first $20 via paypal, BLESS U MONEY DOG 😭 I only spent like an hour taking quizzes so I couldn’t be happier

WELL WHATS THE WEBSITE DROP A LINK

whoops you can sign up here! the website is called survey junkie

to people asking for proof it’s real, here’s the paypal money they sent me

beevean:

snorlaxatives:

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

reasons I’m still on this hellsite:

1) nowhere else I could find posts this specifically relatable

plutothewitch:

september will be kind. september will be magical. september will bring the missing energy. september will be working towards our goals and self. september will be a month full of growth.

scorpia6:

smithsonian-offical:

had to explain to my therapist who seth everman was today

lol can you explain to me

you-had-me-at-e-flat-major:

polyglottraveler:

sprachtraeume:

me: hi! so where are you guys from :D

normal people: I am from Russia/Brazil/Italy/Australia/etc :)

Americans, assuming studying the specific geography of their country was ever relevant to me: Oh I was born in iower but went to school in Oregano (My parents come from East Carolina though):~)

Someone finally said it it’s so annoying!

One day I was eating at a restaurant in Peru with the 3 guys who were volunteering with me and someone asked us where we came from. So I said France, the German guy said Germany, the Maltese guy had to say Italy because almost no-one in Peru knows where Malta is, and then the American guy said Portland, like he didn’t even specify the state he just thought everyone knew where Portland is 😤

i can’t tell whether this is better or worse than

european: where are you from

american: i’m italian

european: omg same! da dove vieni?

american: wait what lol i don’t speak mexican i only speak english

and

european: where are you from?

american: (monolingual english speaker, white, never left Marietta, GA in 23 years of life) well i’m 1/5th irish, 1/7th german, 32% greek, 4/9ths native american, 1/12th swedish, a little bit filipino, my mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries, but i just call myself african :)

garashirs:

garashirs:

the only genuinely funny people on this bitch of an earth are either eldest siblings, people with bastard dads, or gays

if you’re all three, you’re more powerful than any of the rest of us will ever be

(Source: worldsworstfather)